Night Dove: A Little Lonely Wakefulness

IMG_0505Tonight is one of those rare times when I feel my singleness deeply. I question my choice to remain solitary. It’s been so long since I was with anyone, I’ve forgotten what I’m missing. The small things–a counterweight beneath the covers, negotiating space in the kitchen, the bathroom, the schedule. But I miss it in some corner of myself. Just occasionally. I’ve forgotten what it felt like to be so comfortable with another human being, and I question if I will ever know that filled space of life again.

At moments like these, I read poets like Rumi, because they express the ache of my loneliness so well.  I know I’ll wake tomorrow and only the sea wrack of this unusually high soul tide will remain. But just at the moment, I’m a bit uncertain. A little wobbly on these feet that are usually so firmly planted.

 

I want to see you.

Know your voice.

Recognize you when you
first come ’round the corner.

Sense your scent when I come
into a room you’ve just left.

Know the lift of your heel,
the glide of your foot.

Become familiar with the way
you purse your lips
then let them part,
just the slightest bit,
when I lean in to your space
and kiss you.

I want to know the joy
of how you whisper
“more.”

~Rumi

 

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