Cat and Cat: I Am Your Favorite “Escape Goat.”

“And if you want we can set you up with a free thirty day trial–”

The sales woman droned on, tactfully and miraculously avoiding staring at the pair of lime green pedal pushers bestrewn with cartoon owls worn by the woman next to me.

I looked sidelong at her where she stood, eyes barely glazed over–balancing her weight on the outside edges of her Doc Marten spats, hands shoved deep into the front pouch of her Hokies hoodie. Her head tilted to the side as she waited for a break in the sales’ push.

I watched one deep red ringlet tremble like a flower stamen where it had escaped from the tight bun on one side of her head, and waited.

“Oh, that’s okay. We have to go get Erin, now.” She slid the phrase smoothly into the silence caused by the clerk drawing breath.

“Yeah.” I nodded agreement, keeping a straight face.

“Oh, okay.” The sales girl smiled as if parting with friends.

Turning sharply on her heel, she made for the door, and I followed in her wake.

“I never thought I’d be here to see you use me as a ruse for escape.” I murmured as we neared the sliding doors of the shop.

“Wait for it.” She said pausing and turning partially back to the spot we’d just left. “In about two seconds, she’ll realize she has absolutely no idea what just happened, or who Erin is.

I almost burst out laughing as I turned and caught the slightly puzzled expression bloom across the girl’s features.

“I live to be of service.” I giggled as we made our way out into the darkened parking lot.

“That shit never gets old.” She chuckled and hit the button on her key fob to unlock the car.

“How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?”


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